Carnegie Deli, New York

What’s the difference between a Carnegie Deli sandwich and a banjo player? A Carnegie Deli sandwich can feed a family of four!

Oops, sorry, the Carnegie’s history as a long-time hang for stand-up comedians (see “Broadway Danny Rose”) made my Catskill-itis kick in. Guess I gotta get back into attending those 12-step meetings for those of us who compulsively make bad jokes…

Actually, two sandwiches from the Carnegie Deli is all you need for a meal that resembles a modern-day reenactment of the Bible story about the loaves and fishes: It's enough to feed a multitude.

On a recent visit, the turkey on rye was no frills, simply fresh-sliced, juicy turkey breast piled high on crisp-crusted, light-textured seeded rye. The open-faced Reuben was a thing of beauty: lean, flavorful corned beef; crisp, mild sauerkraut; a dense coating of melted, smoky-tasting Swiss cheese; marble rye that didn’t get soggy even after the sandwich had cooled in its take-out container. What’s not to like?

The counterman provided mustard, Russian dressing and several kinds of pickles on the side. Potato salad and mac salad were ok, but nothing to blog about.

Why does everyone take an immediate dislike to banjo players? It saves time!

Stop me before I joke again …

LaCenter Tavern, LaCenter, Wash.

The LaCenter Tavern would be my regular hang if it weren’t 3,000 miles away. The food menu, featuring homey choices like meatloaf and shepherd’s pie, is short and simple. The beer menu is the opposite, with probably a dozen brands on tap and maybe 100 more in bottles. Close to two-dozen wines are offered, sensibly served in stubby, stemless Riedel O Collection-style glasses. The joint might get rockin’, but the glasses won’t.

The price is right, too. Beers range from $2.50 for mass-produced domestic brands to $6 for oversize bottles of Arrogant Bastard. Sparkling J wine by the bottle is a great deal, listed on the menu for about $10 more than I’ve paid for it at wine stores in Westchester.

During a recent sisters and friends field trip to the LaCenter Tavern, we ordered a Greek salad and a cheese plate to share. The salad included mesclun, feta and black olives, tossed with an herb-y oil-and-vinegar dressing. Tasty. The cheese plate consisted of three kinds of cheese, three kinds of bread, crisp sliced apples, and a balsamic and olive oil dip. Everything was delicious, and there was plenty for everyone to enjoy.

Our overworked waitress charged us half price for the cheese plate, because it didn’t include the specific type of blue cheese mentioned on the menu. Nice touch. None of us had noticed – or even particularly cared – if it was Maytag blue or Kenmore. The noshes were just one aspect in the sisters and friends Saturday night, rockin’ out and dancin’ to the Catillacs.

This rockabilly band, which has monthly gigs scheduled at the tavern through the summer, has a solid, eclectic repertoire from the ’50s and ’60s. They mix in obscure material from JB Hutto and Albert King with more standard fare popularized by Chuck Berry, Wilson Pickett and Johnny Cash. Guitarist Richard Bean played wicked slide on a 1965-vintage Danelectro, and got the packed house on its feet. The audience loved the music, and made it rain money when the jewelry maven passed the tip jar during the band’s breaks.

A good time was had by all.

Astoria Thai Cuisine and Seafood, Astoria, Ore.

The jewelry maven doesn’t get to eat Thai food very often. Certain people are convinced she doesn’t like it, but she does. It’s a long story. Anyway, when we’re together Thai is often a top dining choice.

Astoria Thai Cuisine and Seafood, in Astoria, Ore., looks like a real dive: calling the façade “plain” would be an exaggeration. But it was on a street full of thrifts and antiques stores, and we all know the importance of location, location, location, especially when it's quarter past lunchtime.

Inside, it was actually quite nice. The simple décor featured the standard mix from daily special Column A, Column B and Column C in an Asian restaurant furnishings catalog. The place is large, clean, with nicely spaced tables. Not that we needed privacy, since we were the sole clientele at 2 p.m.

We ordered orange chicken, tofu pad thai, spicy halibut, and shrimps and asparagus. Each was distinctively seasoned, full of crisp, fresh veg, and served with a dressing-free raw veg slaw and rice. We asked for medium spicy, it was very mild, so the smiling server brought an assortment of chilis, sauces, and dried pepper flakes to stoke the fire. The meal, plus the whipped cream-topped Thai iced coffee, gave us the strength to ransack every shop in town.

Fresh, delicious, very reasonably priced. Multiple thumbs up.

The Picnic Basket, Cannon Beach, Ore.

No way did I want ice cream on this chilly, gray day. I couldn’t picture myself enjoying a cone while walking around, umbrella-free, in a downpour. But I went into the Picnic Basket in solidarity with the sisters and friends, and one thing led to another … This Cannon Beach sweet shop features local Tillamook-brand ice cream in flavors such as root beer float and white licorice (I sampled both, they were excellent: creamy and luscious), plus plenty of the fruity flavors I favor. It was a tough decision, but Oregon black cherry won out. Divino!

Cranky Sue's, Cannon Beach, Ore.

When the carload of sisters and friends reunion attendees pulled into Cannon Beach, Ore., a sign guided us to the perfect lunch spot. It wasn’t a sign from heaven, just a sign that said “Cranky Sue’s.” Who could resist?

The place has a cute artsy décor and lots of tempting logo merchandise. (I left empty-handed: Didn’t think it would pay to advertise my attitude, and was not sure how a “Cranky Sue” cap or mug would be accepted as a gift.)

Each table has a telescoping antenna topped with a flag, which you raise when you’re ready to order. Our waitress was a chatty, dreadlocked woman who was very friendly and very happy to answer all of our questions, even the non-food-related ones (Who’s Sue? Is she really cranky? What’s there to do around here?).

The soups (white clam chowder and a spicy, gumbo-esque seafood stew) rated four thumbs up. The crab tacos were ok, though I wondered why a café located just yards from the Pacific would pride itself on serving only Chesapeake blue crab. Go figguh.

Tea and coffee were served in huge, steaming mugs. The tea selection would put certain fancy restaurants to shame.

The hot drinks, soup and hospitality were very warming.

City Grill, Sandy, Ore.

Wonder why Sandy, Ore., population circa 8,200, has an eatery dubbed the City Grill? With its handful of tables, extensive list of homemade pies, and the kind of waitress likely to call you “hon,” this cozy joint seems like Country Café would be a more apt moniker.

A recent fish and chips lunch special was right on the money, with juicy, lightly battered halibut fillets and hot, crisp French fries. Another special, bay shrimp salad, was ok. Fortunately I sat with my back to the chalkboard crammed with the day’s desserts, so I could resist temptation and finish my fish.

The City Grill is worth a stop if you’re in the neighborhood.

Delta terminal, JFK

I used to work with a guy who said the restaurants he went to weren't rated by the number of stars, but by the number of stomach pumps. As we walked around Murray Hill at lunchtime, he'd nod toward a diner like the Swan or the Patio and say, "I eat there all the time. Three stomach pumps!"

Since I have no idea what a stomach pump looks like, I pictured a poster illustrated with something like three gas pumps, long hoses dangling, proudly on display near the cash register of these late, unlamented (at least by me) joints on 34th Street.

I was reminded of this ratings system the last time I flew out of JFK. The choices in the Delta terminal would rate three stomach pumps, maybe four. The pickins are slim: Burger King, Sbarro, Chili's, Starbucks and the Sam Adams Cafe. I sat in the Sam Adams Cafe for a while, amid unbused, unwiped tables, but ran out of patience before anyone got around to waiting on me. I may have dodged a bullet--the menu was a cardiologist's nightmare.

I picked up a chicken Caesar wrap at Chili's To-Go. The tortilla was soggy, the alleged chicken looked like white-ish Spam. It was nasty. I'm usually a member of the clean-plate club, but not this time.

In the NY Times on Feb. 27, Frank Bruni referred to New York as the finest restaurant city in the nation. Too bad you can't tell that from our major international airport. It's especially disappointing in the 21st century, when you usually have plenty of time to kill after checking in two hours early. And since airlines no longer serve food, decent take-out would be handy for those of us who want to brown-bag it on the plane.

Other cities are way ahead of us with airport dining--Chicago has Wolfgang Puck, Portland has Rogue River Brew Pub, Washington National has Legal Seafood, etc. A restaurant at JFK worthy of stars rather than stomach pumps would be a hearty send off on the way out of town, and a wonderful welcome home.

Fast Food

Uncle WestFester is a road warrior, and fast food is often his only dining option. Sometimes he can contact others in the know for a quick tip, ie. Libra Zebra guided me to great local dive called Oscar's in downtown Philly, but more often than not I depend on fast food for lunch or dinner. My new favorite spot is Chipotle Mexican Grill. Everything is fresh and really tasty. Another huge plus is that they sell beer, just like McDonald's in Germany. Other than Chipotle some decent options are Qdoba Grill and Quizno's in a pinch. I know this isn't glamorous stuff, but after years of Subway, Taco Bell, and Burger King these places are a big deal if you're on the road as much as I am.